Unique Ideas To PERSONALIZE A FUNERAL or MEMORIAL
85
“The most memorable services are the ones that are truly unique.” ss
There are a variety of traditions and practices for honoring the life of a loved one who has died. Whether you are planning a wake visitation, funeral ceremony, memorial service, church mass or a celebration of life, it has become common practice to personalize the event.
I'd like to share with you my creative ideas to personalize a funeral that you may have never thought of before.
Was The Deceased An AVID READER
If the deceased was an avid reader with many books, why not share the books with family and friends. Display the books on a shelf at the service. Create a large, legible sign that reads something like: HENRY WAS AN AVID READER. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TAKE ONE OF HIS BOOKS AND ENJOY IN HIS MEMORY.
Was The Deceased Known As A GREAT BAKER
Let’s say the deceased was well known for making the best oatmeal cookies. Why not have their special cookies available at the service. Make up individual treat bags filled with the cookies. Then attach a card with the recipe to each bag: EVERYONE ALWAYS LOVED SOPHIA’S OATMEAL COOKIES ~ ENJOY HER SPECIAL RECIPE.
Did The Deceased ENJOY GARDENING
Purchase a variety of seed starter packs (or flower bulbs) to give to each attendee. Attach a prayer card to each pack. Or you could attach a note: SAM LOVED HIS GARDENING ~ PLEASE PLANT IN HIS MEMORY.
Or what about the use of garden stepping stones in front of the casket. Why not? Be creative.
Did The Deceased Enjoy Certain MUSIC
For example, my brother-in-law's father loved Polka’s and played them all the time. Everyone who knew Tony, knew he loved Polka’s. They played Polka music (quietly) at his funeral service. I realize that some people may feel this is inappropriate. But, for those in attendance, it was extremely meaningful and memorable.
For a service or mass, choose music that personalizes the experience.
Did The Deceased Have A FAVORITE HANGOUT
Is there a favorite location?
A restaurant, lounge, country club, park, etc. that the deceased often visited.
Plan a gathering in honor of the deceased at their favorite place.
Was the deceased a SPORTS FAN
Let’s say the deceased was avid Cleveland Browns fan (no giggles please). You could announce in the newspaper obituary: THE FAMILY OF SO AND SO WOULD APPRECIATE IF EVERYONE WOULD WEAR THEIR FAVORITE CLEVELAND BROWNS ATTIRE TO THE SERVICE.
Of course, you could also have team memorabilia displayed at the service.
The deceased could also be dressed in his/her favorite sportswear.
Did The Deceased Have A Pet
Let’s say that the deceased has a dog named Peanut who has been their buddy through thick and thin.
Why can’t Peanut attend the service? No doubt, Peanut is grieving too. Let Peanut be part of personalizing the service.
Was The Deceased a NATURE LOVER
During an outdoor service, you could have a butterfly release or even release doves. Another practice that I have seen often is a balloon release. There is something peaceful about watching the balloons slowly float away in the breeze.
HOW WE PERSONALIZED MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL: My grandmother used to make flowers out of yarn. She would then fill baskets with her special flowers and give them to nursing homes to cheer up the residents. During my grandmother’s service at the cemetery, we handed everyone an individual flower that she created. At the end of the service, we gave everyone a helium-filled balloon and asked them to tie the flower to the bottom of the balloon string but to not let it go yet.
We had a tape player and played one of Gram’s favorite songs. On the count of 1, 2, 3, we all released our balloons with the flowers attached and just watched in awe as they floated wherever they may. It was a beautiful representation that Grandma’s love, through her flowers, will continue to touch many people wherever they land.
Was The Deceased A PHOTOGRAPHER
Who says you cannot take photographs at a funeral or memorial service? Honestly, you could do whatever you want. If the deceased was a photographer, have disposable cameras available for anyone to use when the setting is appropriate. Other than weddings, this is the time when we see people that we don’t normally get to visit with. In honor of the photographer, create lasting memories.
Active Memory Boards
Creating memory boards and memory tables with photographs and memorabilia has been a common practice for a long time now.
BUT what about having a blank canvas where people can write something special about the deceased. Ask visitors to jot down their favorite memory or even just how they are feeling at that time. It will be a wonderful keepsake for the family of the deceased.
Did The Deceased Have A FAVORITE QUOTE
So the deceased is known to have loved using quotes. Display these special quotes at the service or in the casket. Have them read aloud at the service.
Here is a unique example of something that my family also did at my Grandmother’s funeral. Gram was well known for saying “God Bless You” to everyone she came in contact with. On a side note, Gram’s favorite dessert was ice cream with crushed pretzels on top.
Following her funeral service, we had a luncheon at a restaurant. I arranged the dessert ahead of time. After everyone was finished eating their lunch, the waitresses delivered dessert to each guest ~ bowls of ice cream with crushed pretzels on top, with a toothpick “flag” in the ice cream that said “God Bless You.” It was an extremely touching and emotional moment when everyone realized it was Gram’s favorite dessert and quote.
Will Children Be In Attendance
If there are children at the wake, give them a special place to keep busy. Set up a table with paper and crayons. Have them write a note or draw a special picture to be placed in the casket with the deceased or presented to the family as a keepsake.
IT’S A DIFFICULT TIME
Planning a Funeral, Memorial Service and/or Celebration of Life is a complicated, exhausing process, which is made even more difficult by the emotional stress that accompanies the death of a loved one. Even if some pre-planning has taken place, it still is an overwhelming journey.
If you are physically and emotionally unable to take part in the planning process, never be afraid to ask others for assistance during this time. Take care of yourself and let others manage the details.
Name Badges
Who says you can’t use name badges at a funeral service? Of course you can. This type of event is always one where you see people that you have not in a long time. You see someone, they look familiar, but, what is their name? Now you will know who everyone is with the use of name badges.
Final Thoughts
As I am writing this article, I am sensitive to the fact that not everyone will appreciate these creative ideas. There will be those that think some of the ideas are silly. Some people may say that they are not able to incorporate more personalization for a funeral due to religious beliefs among other reasons.
From my own experience, I have found that wake visitations, funeral ceremonies, memorial services, church masses, and/or celebrations of life that have been uniquely personalized in loving honor of the deceased ~ leave attendees with long-lasting memories that nurture their grieving process.
This is Sharyn’s Slant
**All images in this article are either property of Sharyn's Slant or royalty-free from Getty Images.
|
How to Plan a Funeral: And Other Things You Need to Know When a Loved One Dies
Current Bid: $9.85
|
|
How to Plan a Funeral: And Other Things You Need to Know When a Loved One...
Current Bid: $9.95
|
|
DEAR DAD IN HEAVEN POEM MEMORIAL GIFT FOR LOSS OF A LOVED ONE BEREAVEMENT VERSE
Current Bid: $8.95
|
|
Grieving the Loss of a Loved One by Kathe Wunnenberg (2000, Hardcover)
Current Bid: $.99
|
|
The Gift of a Memory: A Keepsake to Commemorate the Loss of a Loved One...
Current Bid: $11.59
|
More Hubs To Read By Sharyn's Slant
- Make Money Online "Crowdsourcing" From Home With CLICKWORKER.COM
Clickworker. - 12 months ago
- Ideas for KIDS to EARN MONEY DURING SCHOOL BREAKS
Many school-age children who are under the age requirement to obtain official “working papers” are capable of working - and want to work - to earn some spending money. - 5 weeks ago
- SUCCESSFUL GARAGE / YARD SALES Detailed Do's and Don'ts
EVERYTHING you need to know, and then some, on how to have a successful garage or yard sale. - 14 months ago
- The Power of Taking a CAT NAP (with Photo Gallery)
The idea of taking a cat nap or power nap during the day is thought to be cutting edge by many, especially in the work place. - 3 months ago
- MOTHERS Accused Of Killing Their Own Children
News about a mother killing her own child is always shocking and difficult to understand. - 10 months ago
PLEASE SHARE YOUR UNIQUE IDEAS TO PERSONALIZE A FUNERAL IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW. THANK YOU!
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (11)
- Funny
- Awesome (7)
- Beautiful (8)
- Interesting (9)
CommentsLoading...
You've shared some great ideas that create valuable memories in a difficult time. Thank you for writing on such a sensitive topic. Well done.
This was really good Sharon and offered a lot of creative ideas for such a sad time and also making it more personal. When my father passed last year they had a memory board with all our pictures set up. It was in New Orleans and the funeral home was in an old mansion. One room was for viewing but was a closed casket, the other rooms had picture boards, families sat and remembered this or that. Somehow..it made me feel closer to him and the family. Thank you for sharing.
Sunnie
OK, Sharon,
I intend to make 'you' notes about how I wish my service to be conducted, because I know you will do it up right! My peanut brittle is so time consuming to make, so maybe I'll have some greeting cards done up in advance you can leave for everyone...(LOL)?!
You have presented so many ideas that I would never have thought of to truly personalize the remembrance day of our loved ones. I smile fondly at the mention of the balloons. For years, we send off balloons in June for my MIL and now in May for Mom on their birthday.
I shared Mom's Valdectorian speech and some words of wisdom on beautiful paper at her service. I did photo boards, also sharing framed pictures of her through the years so everyone could appreciate her beauty, style and range.
This is Awesome and Beautiful... like you, voted as such and UP!
Have a wonderful day. Love, Maria
Loving and creative suggestions for funerals. These are some great ideas. Wonderfully written!
Very creative ideas, Sharon. I particularly like the notion of blank memory boards that are set up so those who attend services can post a thought or two they want to share about the deceased. That can be most meaningful and cherished by the survivors.
Well done SS! Great ideas! I have already requested KU music! :))
Hello "honesty" - I love your hub name (backwards). Yes, most people would prefer not talking about funeral arrangements yet it is a part of life and something that most of us will go through. I'm glad you liked these ideas and appreciate your feedback. Thank you,
Sharyn
Hi Tams R, It's great to meet you. Thank you for your feedback on this sensitive topic. Personalizing a funeral will no doubt create additional special memories. Have a great day!
Sharyn
I think these are excellent ideas. For my funeral, I'd left instructions to be buried in a pyramid but that was voted down by my family as a tad ostentatious. But seriously, I love what you did with your grandmother's flowers -- quite memorable and touching. Voting this Up and Beautiful.
Dear Sunnie,
I am feeling at a loss for words and keep thinking, did I know this? Did I miss something you wrote? Was this during the time that I was going through some grieving of my own? I don't believe I heard that your father passed away? I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences.
Using memory boards, as your family did, is a great way to honor the deceased. It triggers wonderful conversations about cherished memories. Thank you for your feedback Sunnie, I hope you are doing okay. Love,
Sharyn
I love these ideas. So many times people keep funerals too stoic and rigid only to end up crying at the end. I like when people share stories and make it personal to the deceased. I think everyone has a right to die as uniquely as they lived. Great hub!
These were all great ideas. At my grandmother's wake, we sat in the church and each shared times we remembered sharing with her. It meant a lot to all there.
Thanks for SHARING!
Dear Maria,
You know, my creative side just doesn't stop, even if it has to do with a subject like funerals. Your peanut brittle is a perfect example - you are known for this special treat - it would personalize your memory if everyone received a copy of your special recipe.
The first time I remember using balloons at a cemetery service was when my best friend's mom died about 15 years ago. It was very special.
When my mom died, we did balloons too. She always said she would want that. Though at the time of my mom's funeral, I was at such a loss and not feeling as creative as when my Gram passed. At my mom's funeral, we did have a television at the wake and played recent videos of two great family parties we had just had a few months before. And we had many memory boards and photo albums for visitors to view. My sisters and I did personal things like request that my mom be buried in her house slippers since mom had mentioned that at times. This is silly but, my mom used to sit on the toilet and play a hand-held Yatzee game so of course, that was displayed in the casket.
Years earlier, my mom had wrote a beautiful poem for all her grandchildren. We displayed it at the wake and I also read it aloud at the mass. These memories of personalizing a funeral are still extremely special to me and my family many years later.
Thank you so much Maria for your feedback and awesome support always. Sending big hugs,
Sharyn
I told my BFF for my funeral - I'd like the music to be all serious and somber - once everyone is seating I want them to drop a disco ball and play "Ballroom Blitz" hahaha! I'd like wild flowers, colors, and good music. Everyone has to curse! Lol.
My dad was a card player all his life - I put four aces up his sleeve to send him off:)
Great hub even tho it's a sad subject:)
Sharyn, wanted to let you know that how much I greatly enjoyed this hub. It is my belief that funerals, wakes, celebrations of life, etc., truly more for the benefit of those who are left behind than they are for the person who has already gone on to a better place. When we lose a loved one, we come together for a number of reasons, to mourn, to say good-bye, to have a sense of closure, to share our sense of loss, and to remember. I loved your ideas for personalizing that experience. My father had three great loves in his lifetime, my mother, my step-mother and the United States Marine Corp., he taught my middle daughter the Marine Corp Hymn practically before she could talk, so my daughter who is now 16, and her two best friends sang the Marine Corp Hymn acapella, (all three girls have been performing in show choir since junior high school, so they weren't off-key or flat), There wasn't a dry eye in the house.
Don't know what happened, but lost the bottom part of my comment. It basically said that I wish that I had thought of some of these ideas back in August. Wonderful Hub! Shared and posted to my Facebook. Voted up, useful, and interesting.
Very nice hub with some great ideas. For me I want my ashes mixed in with a firework, fireworks have always been something I have enjoyed since a child. Then have it fired over the sea. Some very good ideas here. :)
I like the idea of making the funerals a bit more humane and personal and these are so great ideas! Sometimes I wonder what purpose a funeral have; to hold on to strong traditional ceremonies or to say good bye to a much loved person. If a funeral is done like you describe here it is for the second reason and the day will be a great memory. Wonderful hub, shared and voted up!
Tina
Tammy,
I'm thrilled that you like these ideas. Thank you so much for stopping by.
Sharyn
Hi Dr. BJ,
I really like the idea of writing on the memory boards as well. It is something that the family can keep and cherish. Thank you for your support and feedback!
Sharyn
Linda,
You crack me up. I'm sure that someone will play KU music at your service, no doubt. But you may change your mind many years from now, you know? Thanks for stopping by.
Sharyn
Alocsin,
Hey, who knows, the family may figure out a way to honor your wishes :) Thanks for the comment about the flowers and balloons at my Gram's funeral. It was very symbolic, seeing the balloons float away with her flowers. A tear-jerker for sure. Thanks for your feedback.
Sharyn
Hi Alecia,
I really appreciate your feedback. Your comment "I think everyone has a right to die as uniquely as they lived" is PERFECT. I feel exactly the same way. Thank you,
Sharyn
Hi Cindy,
Absolutely! Reminiscing with others and sharing special memories although sad, can be quite enjoyable and really helpful in the grieving process. Thank you for sharing too.
Sharyn
No I won't. It's set in stone.
I really like all your ideas here and think this is a fantastic hub.
When my cousin died we had a memorial/wake for him right on his farm. There were pictures set up all over of him. One of his sisters had a flag made with pictures of him on the flag and they put it up on the flag pole. We played all his favorite music. It was quite memorable and a wonderful tribute to him.
Sharyn's Slant - This is an incredible assortment of ideas. I must admit this was a bit difficult for me to read. I've been more than a bit sentimental lately. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of my Dad's passing and we are considering ways to memorialize him. We have already scheduled a mass. Family and friends will be joining us. You have given me some ideas to incorporate at our gathering.
It is never an easy time. Planning a funeral can be difficult, but it should be a celebration of life. I really enjoyed your various ideas and suggestion. Truly touching.
Thank you for sharing :)
voted up
This was a brilliant hub! You can plan my funeral any day. Maybe funeral planning would be a good business for you! You certainly are good at it.
I had to laugh at the first suggestion with the books. My granny is 82 and in poor health. I'm taking care of her right now. She is an avid reader and I am not kidding when I say she has over 1000 books. And loves them all. Everyone harasses her about that. If I brought them to her service to give as a keepsake, people would swear that I was just trying to get rid of them and clear out some space. LOL.
I can just see my dog "MIni" at my funeral. Everyone is afraid of my protective little Min Pin. He would be biting and terrorizing everyone there. Ha ha ha. I demand that he be present!!!!
At my husbands memorial service, I displayed a few of his favorite things. A beer can, his pocket watch, and a video of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Our minister wasn't impressed, but I know that my husband was!
Thanks for some wonderful suggestions. I hope I don't need them anytime soon.
Oh Sharyn you are so sweet. You did not miss his passing. He passed a couple months before I joined hubs. He was my birth father and I had got to know him the last seven years which was such a blessing. Thank you my sweet friend. I will have a year on hubs next month. So he passed Dec 2010. I am so thankful for you and pray you continue to heal..Hugs
Love ya lots
Sunnie
Kelly,
I could totally see that, ha ha! Big ole' dancing party. And colors, I agree, I don't want people all dressed in dark colors. I've never been one who conformed to what was "normal" regarding wearing black. Forget that!
Now I don't know about the cursing but I'm sure your family will do as you wish. You just got to let them know. I love what you did for your dad with the aces too! Thanks so much for your great feedback as always!
Sharyn
Hi Kristen,
VERY WELL SAID, I AGREE ~ "truly more for the benefit of those who are left behind than they are for the person who has already gone on to a better place."
I truly got goose bumps thinking about your daughter singing the marine corp hymn for your father. That is so awesome and I'm sure was extremely emotional. And I know what you mean about wishing you would have thought of some of these ideas when your Dad died recently. When my Mom died, of course, we made the funeral as beautiful and meaningful as possible. Yet we (my sisters and Dad) were still in shock at this time and it all seemed like a blur. I think of things now that I wish we would have done for my mom in addition to what we were capable of at the time. Thank you so much for your beautiful comments.
Sharyn
Hi Rob,
Wow, I honestly didn't think of fireworks, but sure, why not? Of course, I'm not sure if you would run in to some sort of legal ramification yet you know what, I really believe in trying to do what the person specifically wished for. Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm glad you stopped by.
Sharyn
Hi Tina,
That is exactly how I feel. Making a funeral more personalized creates cherished memories for those that are left behind. I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you,
Sharyn
Linda, ha, I get it, set in stone is permanent. No doubt you will get your wish :)
Susan,
I remember reading your hub about your cousin. It was great! Your family really personalized his memorial by having it on his farm land which really was touching. And playing his favorite music etc. was very memorable. It's a perfect example of a personalized tribute. Thank you so much for your feedback!
Sharyn
Hi Miss Olive,
I love the idea that you are having a mass and celebration of life for your dad one year after his passing. These types of anniversaries can be quite difficult. Gathering with friends and family will ease the pain and give you comfort. By continuing to share your father's legacy, you continue to honor him and remember how special he was to you. I wish you the best during this time.
Sharyn
Hi Lisa,
It's funny you say I should create a "funeral planning business. What I have written here actually came from a business plan I wrote a few years ago. I actually had business cards printed as well. Maybe I still will do it.
Planning a funeral is very difficult for family members. Yes, funeral homes do a lot nowadays to help in the planning process, but I always thought it would be great to be that "personal touch." And be the person that the family could come to for whatever needs to be done. That's kind of why I included the blue box at the bottom to remind people that if it truly is too much for them, that they should leave the details to someone else to handle. Ask for help.
I'm glad you liked the idea about books. Wow, your granny has so many! And Mini should be there I think. So you put a lease on him to behave :) And the video at your husband's funeral, I could just see the look on the minister's face, lol. But you know what, you personalized and created lasting memories. To me, that is what counts. Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I too hope that none of us have to use these ideas anytime soon!
Sharyn
Exceptional ideas and all very tasteful -- thanks for sharing with us. Funerals are difficult at best and a personal touch is such a tribute to a loved one. Best, Sis
Dear Sunnie,
Oooops, I realize now you were speaking about your birth father. Of course I remember reading your special piece about forgiving and how it was such a blessing that he was in your life. And your dad and mom have recently moved to assisted living. Sorry, that's who I thought you were talking about. I hope they are doing well.
I will have a year on HP next month too. Whooo hooo, wow we've come a long way. Thank you for your friendship and support always. Sending big big hugs,
Sharyn
Hi Angela,
Great to see you! I appreciate you saying that these ideas are tasteful. I really believe that is key. Thank you for your great feedback.
Sharyn
I Love it, I Love it, so Creative Sharyn. Mmm, so what would I like? Let's see, I'll be at least 110, notice I say at LEAST! I'll have to give it some thought! Maybe a Double Funeral with LOVERMAN! I'm NOT leaving without HIM!
Do you know I just read that some people are getting Married in Funeral Homes, there is No Charge? Maybe they make a deal for when they die....
Death and Dying is Inevitable...So Live LIFE to the Fullest and have NO REGRETS! And along the way let's LAUGH at ourselves!
Hey B,
110 is a great number :) I hope you make it - at least. I'm not sure how that "double thing" will work out, hmmmm.
I've never heard about people getting married in funeral homes but nothing surprises me. Hey, it's free. Thank you so much for your support and feedback. Hope you are laughing/smiling today.
Sharyn
These are great ideas. Funerals are not an easy time but using these tips will make the mourning a little bit easier.
Hi Pamela ~ Funerals can be very difficult but I believe that personalizing really helps those that are left behind. Thanks so much for your comments!
Sharyn
ytsenoh Level 7 Commenter 3 months ago
I think you did an excellent job providing new ideas, creative and thoughtful ideas, to memorialize a loved one's passing. Thanks very much. Your hub deals with a subject that many do not generally want to talk about, but it's very much a part of life.